Divorce: Your first meeting with a solicitor

If you are considering a meeting with a solicitor specialising in divorce, you are most likely already experiencing a difficult and stressful time. Your first meeting should not be a source of any further stress – while you do not need to come away from the meeting understanding the intricacies of the law (that is what your legal team is for) you should certainly leave feeling well informed and confident in the next steps.

Because every family is different, there is no prescriptive formula for a first meeting. Rather, your solicitor will discuss your specific circumstances with you so that they can then tailor what information is needed in order to give you the most relevant and helpful advice. 

Below are a few top tips to help you get the most out of your first meeting:

Forget everything you think you know (or have been told)

You might have a preconceived idea of what the process is going to be like, or what the outcome might be. Sometimes this will have come from internet research or discussions with others. Certainly, friends and family will be an important source of support, while navigating your way through a separation. Nevertheless, sometimes their advice (albeit with the best of intentions) can rather lead you up the garden path. Remember that every relationship breakdown is different, with different combinations of personalities, financial complexities and personal issues. This means your experience is unlikely to mirror that of a friend. Listen to the advice of your solicitor and ensure you benefit from their expertise by asking as many questions as you need. 

Carve out some time

The first meeting will likely last between one-two hours as your solicitor will want to ensure they have a full history of the circumstances leading up to your separation and an overview of your financial setup. This will then enable your solicitor to give you meaningful advice about the process, next steps, likely outcome and costs involved. Your solicitor will want to understand the issues that are important to you so that your priorities lead the way as to the approach and strategy adopted.    

Often the first meeting will involve discussion about sensitive and personal issues. Consider whether you will feel more able to speak freely about such issues alone or whether or you would feel better supported in the presence of a friend or family member. 

Think about what is important to you

Your solicitor cannot make decisions for you. The role of your solicitor is to advise you about the law, the options that are available to you and the pros and cons of adopting differing approaches. However, it is important you achieve the outcome that is right for you (and your family). This will be different for everyone and your priorities might well change and develop over time. This is to be expected and your solicitor will not hold you to a preference you gave at a first meeting. Communication with your solicitor throughout the process is key so that as a team you work together to achieve the right outcome for you.   

Do some homework

Your solicitor will need to understand your financial setup: your property, other assets, pensions, income and liabilities, so attend your first meeting with as much information as you can. If you can provide your solicitor with broad equivalent information about your spouse then this would be helpful. However, do not worry if you do not know how your spouse organised their affairs during your relationship, as your solicitor will be able to explain the obligation of full and frank financial disclosure and how all required information will be shared with you during the divorce process.

….And be ready for more

You will not need to take any notes during the meeting because your solicitor will follow up with a letter of advice outlining the discussions, strategy and agreed next steps. There is often lots of information to get together, so be prepared to have an ongoing list of documents that you will need to collate throughout the process. Your solicitor will provide guidance and support with this. 

Compile a list of questions

Ask anything! The most important part of the meeting is ensuring you leave feeling confident and well informed. Your relationship with your divorce solicitor is of paramount importance and it is essential you feel you are able to be open and honest from the outset to that you can communicate effectively. Before the first meeting, it is a good idea to think about the questions you want answered during the meeting and write these down so you do not forget.